{"id":7774,"date":"2012-04-22T20:07:54","date_gmt":"2012-04-23T02:07:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/?p=7774"},"modified":"2012-04-22T20:07:54","modified_gmt":"2012-04-23T02:07:54","slug":"top-ten-messages-you-want-your-kids-to-get","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/2012\/04\/22\/top-ten-messages-you-want-your-kids-to-get\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Messages You Want Your Kids To Get"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Last Monday at my moms&#8217; group, we had a guest speaker: Linda Anderson, founder of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.momtomom.org\/\">Mom to Mom Ministries<\/a>. \u00c2\u00a0Our group uses the Mom to Mom curriculum, and I think Linda Anderson is one amazing lady. \u00c2\u00a0She is full of wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement for young mothers, and last week&#8217;s presentation was chock full of good stuff. \u00c2\u00a0I wanted to share my notes with you. \u00c2\u00a0The main text is from the handout, and the italics are my own notes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Top Ten Messages You Want Your Kids To Get<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #1: I love you unconditionally.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>The foundation on which everything else is based. \u00c2\u00a0We can be conduits for God&#8217;s love.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Learn how your kids can feel your love. (Ross Campbell, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0781439124\/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=thepicapp-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0781439124\">How To Really Love Your Child<\/a>). \u00c2\u00a0<em>A child can BE loved without FEELING loved. \u00c2\u00a01) Eye contact. 2) Physical contact. \u00c2\u00a03) Focused attention.<\/em><\/li>\n<li>Learn your kids&#8217; love languages. (Gary Chapman, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0802403476\/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=thepicapp-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0802403476\">The Five Love Languages of Children<\/a>)<\/li>\n<li>Explore ways to &#8220;send love&#8221; in their language. \u00c2\u00a0<em>Your love is not withdrawn because of their behavior.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #2: I like you for who you are&#8211;just as you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Don&#8217;t miss who your child IS because you only see who your child ISN&#8217;T.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Become a student of your children&#8211;find something you can like about them.<\/li>\n<li>Take an interest in what interests them.<\/li>\n<li>Listen&#8211;really listen&#8211;to them.<\/li>\n<li>Show up for their games, show, concerts, etc. \u00c2\u00a0Kids often spell love T-I-M-E.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #3: I believe in you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Instill realistic (not inflated) self confidence in your child.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Help them experience small successes.<\/li>\n<li>Help them compete (<em>keep up in the world) <\/em>and compensate (<em>help them see their areas of strength). \u00c2\u00a0<\/em>(James Dobson principles.)<\/li>\n<li>Give realistic&#8211;and genuine&#8211;affirmation.<\/li>\n<li>Always balance constructive criticism with at least twice as much praise.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #4: I love you too much to let you&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Let your kids know God is in charge, and He gave you this job.<\/li>\n<li>Basic message: There is a God, and He&#8217;s not you! \u00c2\u00a0Child needs to know: &#8220;I&#8217;m not the boss!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Set the right tone: discipline is at least 90% atmosphere (expectation, &#8220;the look,&#8221; the tone of voice) over specific set of actions.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t exasperate your kids (Ephesians 6). \u00c2\u00a0Do set realistic expectations, live what you preach, follow through consistently.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #5: God loves you even more than I do.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Live a Deuteronomy 6 lifestyle. \u00c2\u00a0Get God&#8217;s words inside of you-and them!<\/li>\n<li>Transfer God&#8217;s tender love to them through your touch. \u00c2\u00a0<em>(and tone!)<\/em><\/li>\n<li>Welcome questions (Deuteronomy 6). \u00c2\u00a0Be a good listener&#8211;God is! \u00c2\u00a0<em>Tell them what God has done in your life. \u00c2\u00a0It&#8217;s okay to not have all the answers. \u00c2\u00a0Our homes can be a mirror, a window, and a skylight.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #6: Choices have consequences.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>God always gives people choices. \u00c2\u00a0We want our children to learn about delayed gratification and advanced decision-making.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Allow kids to experience small consequences to avoid bigger consequences.<\/li>\n<li>Resist the temptation to rescue them regularly.<\/li>\n<li>Beware the helicopter-mom syndrome.<\/li>\n<li>Help them learn&#8211;and practice&#8211;self-control.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u00c2\u00a0Message #7: You&#8211;and I&#8211;will both blow it sometimes. \u00c2\u00a0But God will always forgive if we ask Him.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Model apology and forgiveness.<\/li>\n<li>Teach kids to say &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0You say it, too.<\/li>\n<li>Allow for open window moments of tender conversation and fresh starts.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #8: God will never leave you or forsake you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>This message is particularly important for times when you aren&#8217;t with your kids: school, the mean girl or bully situation, peer pressure, etc.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Read Bible stories that reinforce these truths. \u00c2\u00a0Talk about them. \u00c2\u00a0Act them out.<\/li>\n<li>Share you own personal stories of times and ways God has been with you.<\/li>\n<li>Encourage kids to talk with you about their fears.<\/li>\n<li>Pray with them regularly, and encourage them to bring their fears to God.<\/li>\n<li>Look for children&#8217;s books that reinforce discussion about both fears and God&#8217;s presence in real-life situations.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #9: It&#8217;s all grace. \u00c2\u00a0Living in God&#8217;s grace makes life fun.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>It&#8217;s all about what God has done for us. \u00c2\u00a0It&#8217;s not about what we do or what our kids do.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Make learning about God fun.<\/li>\n<li>Remember kids watch more than they listen. \u00c2\u00a0Make grace contagious.<\/li>\n<li>Keep your sense of humor, learn to laugh at yourself, and don&#8217;t take yourself too seriously.<\/li>\n<li>Remember laughter can build relationships.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Message #10: I will always pray for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Prayers are deathless. \u00c2\u00a0They outlive the lives of those who utter them.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Practice prayer as a lifestyle. \u00c2\u00a0Let your kids see\/hear you praying.<\/li>\n<li>Let your kids know you pray for them (cards, notes, text). \u00c2\u00a0<em>Include &#8220;how can I pray for you?&#8221; into your daily questions.<\/em><\/li>\n<li>Pray with your kids for others&#8211;starting with their father.<\/li>\n<li>Watch prayer become reciprocal&#8211;One day they will pray for you!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>\u00c2\u00a0Note to Moms: \u00c2\u00a0Amidst all the noise out there, amidst all the voices calling to your kids, the voice your kids will hear the loudest&#8230; is yours! \u00c2\u00a0You will\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand do\u00e2\u20ac\u201dmake a difference!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Cara here: \u00c2\u00a0So much to learn from this, don&#8217;t you think?! \u00c2\u00a0Did any of these messages resonate with you? \u00c2\u00a0I feel like I need to work on ALL of them, but right now I&#8217;m focusing on #2 and #4 with The Little Apple.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"linkwithin_hook\" id=\"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/2012\/04\/22\/top-ten-messages-you-want-your-kids-to-get\/\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Last Monday at my moms&#8217; group, we had a guest speaker: Linda Anderson, founder of Mom to Mom Ministries. \u00c2\u00a0Our group uses the Mom to Mom curriculum, and I think Linda Anderson is one amazing lady. \u00c2\u00a0She is full of wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement for young mothers, and last week&#8217;s presentation was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7774"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7786,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7774\/revisions\/7786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}