{"id":4730,"date":"2010-11-06T20:06:30","date_gmt":"2010-11-07T02:06:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/?p=4730"},"modified":"2010-11-06T20:43:46","modified_gmt":"2010-11-07T02:43:46","slug":"life-with-a-spirited-child-parenting-tactics-for-the-trait-of-intensity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/2010\/11\/06\/life-with-a-spirited-child-parenting-tactics-for-the-trait-of-intensity\/","title":{"rendered":"Life With A Spirited Child: Parenting Tactics for the Trait of INTENSITY"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is the fourth post in the Life With a Spirited Child series.\u00c2\u00a0 Missed a previous post?<\/em><\/p>\n

Life With a Spirited Child: New Series Intro<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

The Characteristics<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Labels<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Intensity is probably the most challenging spirited child trait to learn to manage (it certainly is at our house!), and it is the driving force behind the strong reactions of your spirited child.\u00c2\u00a0 I wanted to tackle this trait first because intensity plays a huge role in the other traits.\u00c2\u00a0 If you can deal with THIS trait, then the other spirited child characteristics should be easier to manage as well.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>image by UggBoyUggGirl via Flickr Creative Commons<\/dt>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

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Catching Cues and Talking About Intensity<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Whether you are aware of it or not, your spirited child generally gives off some sort of non-verbal (or even verbal) signal that his intensity is building.\u00c2\u00a0 The goal is to learn pick up on these cues and take preventative action before your child reaches his breaking point.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe your child’s cue is that they become active and impatient.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe they start to become less coordinated.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe they start to test the limits or get louder.\u00c2\u00a0 It is so much easier to step in and take action now<\/em> rather than wait until your child is in a full fledged screaming fury or weeping and wailing inconsolably.<\/p>\n

Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out what The Littlest Apple’s cues are.\u00c2\u00a0 There have been plenty of times when I feel like he just snapped, with little-to-no warning.\u00c2\u00a0 But sometimes he starts stalling (bedtime, naptime, getting dressed, brushing teeth, time for dinner…all of the “trouble spots” we’ll discuss later).\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes he gets really fidgety (this one is hard to detect since he is ALWAYS fidgety, but it’s a slightly different<\/em> kind of fidgety).\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes he starts talking MORE or saying lots of gibberish or begins to say something but trails off and moves on to another thought.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s usually a good clue that his little wheels are close to spinning out of control.<\/p>\n

Right now I’m trying to recognize The Littlest Apple’s cues, but my hope is that he’ll be able to recognize them too.\u00c2\u00a0 Ultimately, we want our spirited kids to recognize their OWN cues.\u00c2\u00a0 We want them to say “Mom, I’m bouncing off the walls!” or “My blood is really boiling!” or “I’m getting upset!” I’ve been working with The Littlest Apple and occasionally, he will say “I’ve got a lot of energy now!”<\/p>\n

Once you’ve observed the signals that your child’s intensity is building, it’s time to take action!<\/p>\n

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Soothing and Calming Activities That Help Diffuse Intensity:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1.\u00c2\u00a0 Sleep and Nap Time<\/span><\/p>\n

It is crucial to make sleep a priority for your spirited child.<\/p>\n

Typically, spirited children are the ones who seem<\/em> to need less sleep than others and have a hard time winding down.\u00c2\u00a0 That is certainly true with The Littlest Apple.\u00c2\u00a0 He sleeps 8 or 9 hours at night and an hour and half nap during the day (if he takes one).\u00c2\u00a0 Preschoolers are supposed to get 12 hours of sleep.\u00c2\u00a0 It takes our guy a LONG time to wind down for night time and naps.\u00c2\u00a0 He takes at least an hour to fall asleep at night, and on school day, it can take him up to 45 minutes to stop fidgeting and fall asleep for his nap after we get home.<\/p>\n

My guy still naps, but if you’re looking for ideas on HOW to make quiet time<\/em> work, check out the following posts:<\/p>\n

Giving Up Naptime<\/a> @Muffin Tin Mom<\/p>\n

and the follow up post Quiet Time 1, 2, 3!<\/a> @ No Time For Flashcards<\/p>\n

Rest Hour-A Primer<\/a> @ Fleeting Moments<\/p>\n

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image by John-Morgan via Flickr Creative Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

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2.\u00c2\u00a0 Water<\/span><\/p>\n

Water can be very soothing to spirited kids.\u00c2\u00a0 The Littlest Apple LOVES playing with water and taking baths (and so do I).\u00c2\u00a0 In fact, yesterday afternoon he was grouchy, but after 20 minutes in a warm bath, he was much more agreeable.<\/p>\n

Here are some water play ideas:<\/p>\n