{"id":4095,"date":"2010-09-24T22:04:22","date_gmt":"2010-09-25T04:04:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/?p=4095"},"modified":"2010-09-24T22:04:22","modified_gmt":"2010-09-25T04:04:22","slug":"life-with-a-spirited-child-the-characteristics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/24\/life-with-a-spirited-child-the-characteristics\/","title":{"rendered":"Life With a Spirited Child-The Characteristics"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my first post of the series<\/a>, I introduced you to life with a spirited child.\u00c2\u00a0 As I mentioned, life with The Littlest Apple, my own spirited child, can be awesome or awful depending on the day.\u00c2\u00a0 But it is never, ever dull. (Today leaned toward awful, in case you were wondering.\u00c2\u00a0 No nap, and energy overload since The Littlest Apple has been cooped up post-surgery.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s feeling better, but we’re not allowing him to run and jump and wrestle just yet.\u00c2\u00a0 He was a complete maniac today…kicking, spitting food and water, throwing things at people, awful tantrums.) <\/strong><\/p>\n

What are the characteristics of spirited children?<\/strong><\/p>\n

No two spirited children are the same.\u00c2\u00a0 Depending on which book you read, the characteristics of spirited children may be called different things and they can vary in number.\u00c2\u00a0 I like the way the characteristics are divided is Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s book Raising a Spirited Child<\/a>, so that’s what we’ll use as a guideline here.\u00c2\u00a0 According to Kurcinka’s book, there are five main characteristics of spirited children<\/strong> (and 4 “bonus” traits).\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 They may not possess all of these characteristics, but if they are spirited, they possess enough to make them stand out in a crowd.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ll introduce the characteristics in this post, and discuss them in more detail in future posts.<\/p>\n

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image from seanmcgrath via Flickr Creative Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

The Five Main Characteristics of Spirited Children Are:<\/strong><\/span> <\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00c2\u00a0 Intensity.<\/strong> This is one of the easier traits to spot.\u00c2\u00a0 The loud, dramatic, ear-piercing shrieks that can be heard from down the street or across the grocery store.\u00c2\u00a0 There is no halfway for an intense child.\u00c2\u00a0 They have powerful<\/em> tantrums, but they also shout with glee and laughter.\u00c2\u00a0 This is one of the most challenging tempermental traits to manage.<\/p>\n

The Little Apple most certainly has this trait.\u00c2\u00a0 He is super expressive with his body language (both good and bad), frequently loud (when happy or upset), and easily frustrated.\u00c2\u00a0 He does everything with zest and exuberance!<\/p>\n

2.\u00c2\u00a0 Persistence.<\/strong> Spirited children often have a one track mind.\u00c2\u00a0 Once they have an idea, they are extremely fixated on it.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s hard to get them to change their minds.\u00c2\u00a0 They demand more than other kids demand and they never give up.\u00c2\u00a0 They make it very hard to be ignored or to be distracted.<\/p>\n

This is another of the spirited child traits that The Littlest Apple has in high quantities.\u00c2\u00a0 While he was in the hospital earlier this week<\/a>, he decided one morning at 6am that he wanted some hot cocoa.\u00c2\u00a0 At the time, he still couldn’t have anything but clear liquids.\u00c2\u00a0 He continued to ask for hot cocoa frequently until he finally got some the following morning around 9am.\u00c2\u00a0 We heard about that hot cocoa for more than 24 hours<\/em> before he finally got some!\u00c2\u00a0 Nothing else would satisfy him or distract him.\u00c2\u00a0 Believe me, we tried!<\/p>\n

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image from imcountingfuoz via Flickr Creative Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

3.\u00c2\u00a0 Sensitivity.<\/strong> Spirited kids are keenly aware of every little noise, smells, lights, textures, and\/or other people’s moods.\u00c2\u00a0 Big stores can be overwhelming.\u00c2\u00a0 Getting dressed can be a real battle with these children because they notice every scratchy tag, usually hate socks, and are very sensitive to the way things feel.\u00c2\u00a0 They really do know the difference between brands of applesauce.<\/p>\n

The Littlest Apple is certainly sensitive to smells and textures.\u00c2\u00a0 He refuses to kiss people who have stinky breath (morning breath, after eating lots of garlic, etc).\u00c2\u00a0 He refuses to use his potty stool because he doesn’t like the way the textured rubber feels on his feet.\u00c2\u00a0 And obviously food is a minefield of texture and smell issues.<\/p>\n

The Littlest Apple seems to be particularly aware of the moods of others.\u00c2\u00a0 He notices how other adults and children are feeling, and if they are angry or sad, it really bothers him.\u00c2\u00a0 There are several episodes of his favorite cartoon that he won’t watch because the characters get upset about things.\u00c2\u00a0 He ALWAYS knows how I am feeling and will frequently say “Be Happy!” or “Be Patient!” if I look the slightest bit frustrated or sad, (especially as a result of something he did).<\/p>\n

4.\u00c2\u00a0 Perceptiveness.<\/strong> These kids get sidetracked easily because there is just so much stuff for them to notice along the way and their senses are keen.\u00c2\u00a0 They see, feel, and hear things that others don’t notice.\u00c2\u00a0 These kids are often accused of not listening or being unable to focus.<\/p>\n

Oh dear, I’m afraid we’ve got this one too.\u00c2\u00a0 Big time.\u00c2\u00a0 The Littlest Apple will notice if one of your shirt buttons is unbuttoned or if you’ve got a loose string on your shirt.\u00c2\u00a0 He’ll notice something new on the bookshelf that you acquired while he was at school.\u00c2\u00a0 He’ll hear a distant truck or siren.\u00c2\u00a0 He notices the air conditioner units on the ceiling at the grocery store.\u00c2\u00a0 He asks “What’s that smell?” when we’re in the car and smell gas, truck exhaust, fast food, sewers.\u00c2\u00a0 There is no trying to sneak something by The Littlest Apple.\u00c2\u00a0 He notices everything.\u00c2\u00a0 And yet he also seems to be not listening to what I say a majority of the time.\u00c2\u00a0 Funny how that works, isn’t it? <\/strong><\/p>\n

5.\u00c2\u00a0 Adaptability.<\/strong> Spirited children can be slow to shift gears from one activity to the next.\u00c2\u00a0 Because transitions occur frequently throughout the day, this can be a significant factor in how your day with a spirited child progresses.<\/p>\n

We have to give lots of warnings at our house: “2 more minutes and then it’s dinner time!” or “We’re leaving the park in 5 minutes, so if you want to go down the slide, you should do it now.”\u00c2\u00a0 And even then, we have trouble moving from one thing to the next.\u00c2\u00a0 The Littlest Apple needs to know our general schedule for the day<\/a>: “Where am I going after naps?”\u00c2\u00a0 “Who is coming tomorrow?”\u00c2\u00a0 He notices the slightest change in our daily routines, and gets very out of sorts if I skip parts of our “typical” morning routine because we’re rushed for time.<\/p>\n

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image by VinothChandar via Flickr Creative Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

Four additional “bonus” traits:<\/strong><\/span> The first five characteristics are common to all<\/em> spirited children.\u00c2\u00a0 With the bonus traits, some spirited children have them and some don’t. <\/strong><\/p>\n

6.\u00c2\u00a0 Regularity.<\/strong> Some spirited children can be extremely unpredictable.\u00c2\u00a0 They are never hungry at the same time, and you never know when they will be tired because it varies daily. <\/strong><\/p>\n

7.\u00c2\u00a0 Energy.<\/strong> Many spirited children are energetic.\u00c2\u00a0 They NEED to climb, jump, run, and be on the move.<\/p>\n

This is the only<\/em> bonus trait that The Littlest Apple seems to possess, and it is one of the first things people notice about The Littlest Apple.\u00c2\u00a0 The ENERGY.\u00c2\u00a0 This kid literally can’t stand still, and is go, go, going from 5:30am when he jumps off bed Buzz-Lightyear-style to 8:30pm when he wiggles himself asleep at night.\u00c2\u00a0 No wonder I’m tired. <\/strong><\/p>\n

8.\u00c2\u00a0 First Reaction.<\/strong> Studies show that some children have a tendency to get upset in new and unfamiliar situations…their blood pressure rises, pupils dilate, and their pulse races. <\/strong><\/p>\n

9.\u00c2\u00a0 Mood.<\/strong> Certain children also have a predisposition to anxiety and negative thoughts.\u00c2\u00a0 They seem consistently grumpy and cranky, even when there is no apparent reason for being so.<\/p>\n

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image from tibchris via Flickr Creative Commons<\/p><\/div>\n

In upcoming posts, we’ll discuss some parenting tactics for each of these characteristics, how to recognize trouble spots for each characteristic, and how your own spirited characteristics can affect your parenting style. My next post in the Life With a Spirited Child Series will focus on the labels we place on our spirited children and how they affect our parenting and our children’s self-esteem. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Which characteristics do you see in YOUR spirited child?\u00c2\u00a0 Which characteristics do you see in YOURSELF? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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In my first post of the series, I introduced you to life with a spirited child.\u00c2\u00a0 As I mentioned, life with The Littlest Apple, my own spirited child, can be awesome or awful depending on the day.\u00c2\u00a0 But it is never, ever dull. (Today leaned toward awful, in case you were wondering.\u00c2\u00a0 No nap, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4095"}],"version-history":[{"count":48,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4321,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095\/revisions\/4321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thepickyapple.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}