Uh Oh, I’ve Created a Monster

I haven’t really discussed The Littlest Apple’s potty training in detail much here, and perhaps you’re thinking that’s a good thing. But I do think it’s worth at least one blog post. We started potty training using underwear exclusively during the daytime back in January, and things have been gradually getting better. This is where I would tell you that it’s been about 2 weeks since The Littlest Apple’s last accident, except that he had TWO accidents (both on the carpet, naturally) this afternoon alone.

This boy is just too busy to go to the potty. If you ask him if he needs to go the potty, his answer is ALWAYS “No.” At the beginning, we took him every hour. Then we moved to taking him every two hours, and asking occasionally if he needed to go. We’re currently focusing on getting him to tell us when he needs to go.

I’ve read numerous books on potty training over the last year, and not all of them agree on the use of rewards. In fact, some of those books say that rewards are a bad idea. (FORESHADOWING!) For some reason though, I decided that rewards would create the right incentive for my stubborn little guy. I decided rewards were just the ticket for our situation!

I should have KNOWN better when I decided to start a Potty Rewards Chart. I started this about a month ago in an effort to reduce the number of accidents (daily, sometimes more) that The Littlest Apple was having. The original rules of our system were as follows:

You get a sticker for the Potty Chart at the end of the day for NO ACCIDENTS
You can also earn stickers by telling us you have to go the potty (and actually going)
When you earn 5 stickers, you get a REWARD (in this case, it was mostly toys related to his newest obsession, the movie Cars).

I thought I had him all figured out. He started doing really well. Not having any accidents. But still not telling us when he had to go to the potty, and still saying “NO!” anytime you asked if he needed to go. Then, last week, The Littlest Apple started asking for stickers EVERY time he went to the potty. And there were some BIG tantrums when I refused. But that wasn’t the worst of it….

The Littlest Apple started asking “What do I GET?” every time he went to the potty.

Uh, oh. I’ve created a monster! A little monster who wants MORE MORE MORE when he already has way too many junky toys to begin with!! My mom tried to stick up for him by saying that it was a natural question about actions and consequences, as opposed to the questions of a greedy little boy. Maybe there’s some truth to that. After all, I DID create the consequence of a reward, right?

I’m still trying to rectify this. We still need SOME incentive to encourage The Littlest Apple to tell us when he has to go to the potty, instead of waiting until we make him go. For starters, I’m changing the Reward System a bit, requiring The Littlest Apple to earn TEN stickers instead of just FIVE. I’m also thinking about making the rewards experiences instead of stuff, like going to Coldstone with Mommy and Daddy, a trip to a special park or indoor playground, or getting to watch a movie with us. I’m not sure how well that’s going to be received, as The Littlest Apple is already asking for his next toy-reward.

Any suggestions?

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From motherhood

http://trainstutusandteatime.com Corinne

We didn’t go w/ the rewards system only because we’re not good with moderation… ha!

But I know many people who have. And when they got to the point where you are now, they did what you’re thinking of doing – changing it up. Like you said, make it 10 stickers to equal a prize, then space it out even more and eventually phase it out.

I really like the ideas of the experiences rather than material things. That’s fantastic!

Good luck And for starting in January to get to this point – that’s fantastic!!! You guys are doing great. Potty training is the most difficult thing parenting wise we’ve done. The patience you need is incredible… so you guys should give yourselves a huge pat on the back!
Jenny

I will start potty training when school is out. PLEASE keep us updated on what seems to work! As an educator I love the idea of rewards and changing the requirements over time. Would it work to only give him rewards/stickers when he TELLS you he has to go and he actually does??? Or maybe 2 stickers when he tells you rather than just one since that is the goal you are trying to reach???
http://www.countingcoconuts.blogspot.com Mari-Ann

How did I miss this post?! We’ve been back and forth with potty training. Like Finn, James waits for us to ask him if he needs to go and the answer we receive is always an emphatic NO! When we first started a while back, I tried a rewards type thing – we offered him a matchbox car (they are used from our local thrift shop) after he had a success on the potty. Wouldn’t you know it, he didn’t care if he got something or not. In that same breath, he didn’t care if he goes on the potty or not either. We realized he just wasn’t ready yet and we pulled back for a few months. Now we’re trying again and this time I’m armed with M&Ms. I’ve heard it works and for James, chocolate is the end all be all (takes after his mama). It’s been only a week and while the chocolate is definitely a hit, he still is showing huge signs of indifference. Sigh. I guess it’s just going to take a while… a long while. :S
So, I know I didn’t offer any suggestions, this was meant as more of a “I know how you’re feeling” comment. Hope you’re doing well otherwise!
http://www.thepickyapple.com cara

Corinne- I also really like the idea of experience-rewards over toy-rewards. The Littlest Apple, however, would much rather have a toy. And if that’s the motivation he needs right now, I suppose that’s what he’ll get.

Jenny- I have spaced out the rewards a little more. Now he has to earn 15 stickers to get a reward. That sounds like a lot, but if he’s telling me when he SHOULD be that he has to go, then that’s a reward every 3 days or so. I also am ONLY giving stickers when he tells me he has to go. For the most part, we’ve mastered the “no accidents” part. However, we’ve been working on the same reward for over a week now, if that’s any indication of how well it’s working…

Mari-Ann- The Littlest Apple LOVES chocolate too (and so do I)! We started out using M & M’s at the very beginning, when we were encouraging him to just sit on his little potty chair. After giving him M & M’s twice for sitting, he started equating potty with M & M’s….but not ever going, just sitting there. As a result, we switched things up. But maybe I’ll get them out again as more incentive…and he could always use the extra calories (ha!).